burners
by dilemmas
Summary: She hadn't bought a burner in years. Well, that was a lie. [The Crossing through Lauren]


a/n: not beta'd, just something i've had on my mind for a few days and figured i'd get out while i was feeling crap.

She hadn't bought a burner in years.

Well, that was a lie.

Keri had triggered something. Being stalked for years across the country by an _amateur_, had taken such a toll. Hicks was delusional, believed Keri was in love with him, if he were to get her alone, she just had to play along; if someone from Emily's past were to come after her, there's no way she could keep herself alive, they would destroy her, torture her, and if she wouldn't submit, torture her family.

So, she bought the phone on her way home, citing Sod's Law to justify it. If she has the phone, she won't need it, if she doesn't she will. She was okay, though.

(She's told JJ Keri was going to be okay, she was sure of that; Hicks was in custody, it stopped there.)

—

Then came Foyet.

He didn't want to kill Hotch, he wanted to make him suffer, make him and everyone around him know that he wasn't invincible, that he was weak. And as she watched Hayley and Jack be escorted out of the hospital and out of Hotch's life for God knows how long, she knew this wasn't going to end anytime soon.

She activated the phone the next day. It was a start, at least. Hotch was being tormented by his own demon, and to be able to help him, she had to make sure she could let go of hers; if she was constantly looking over her shoulder, she couldn't look over his.

—

Seeing Jack in his little suit had pushed her over the edge.

She'd almost told JJ that night coming back from Nashville; almost come clean about JTF-12, told her that if anything happened, she'd be who they'd come after.

(That they would've been watching her for weeks, months even. That they'd know who she was, know what she means to her. That these people were trained to figure out how to hurt their targets, to get whatever they needed out of them. That they were profilers.)

She didn't though. JJ needed to get back home to Henry, she didn't need this on her mind. God, the only reason she had to tell her was because she was in direct danger, just by being close to her. She gives her the number though, just says she's feeling paranoid. JJ understands, Emily had all but moved in with Hotch after his attack, and she couldn't do _anything_ to stop Hayley being killed, couldn't even make sure Jack was safe.

—

It's JJ who comes to her.

She'd been good. For months now Emily had been okay, better than okay; she'd been going out, she'd moved, she'd got a _cat_. And then JJ gets poached but the DOD.

"I need you to tell me whatever it is you want to tell me,"

JJ was standing in her doorway at six on a Thursday night asking her to—

"The burner, Emily." She steps aside and JJ walks in, suddenly timid. She'd been like steel when Emily had answered the door, and now… she's placing, actually _placing_ her briefcase by the couch. Any other day she would've dropped it the moment she stepped through the door and grabbed their glasses (there were only two of the set left, one had broken in the move, the other a helpless victim of young Sergio), meeting Emily in the lounge the moment she popped the cork.

Tonight wasn't another night.

"Normal people don't just buy burn phones when they're paranoid, they go insular." She's still standing, coat still fastened around her waist, and Emily doesn't know what to do.

"I mean, I get that you have a past, Emily, I do, but don't pull this classified shit on me, I need to know what's going on with you."

So, she gets her to sit, to wait. It's been five minutes and Emily still hasn't come out from her room. JJ takes her coat off, unpins her hair, goes back to regular JJ; Emily's JJ. She waits another minute before going in to check up on her. She finds her cross-legged in front of her bookcase, she's sorting through the files from the safe. "Emily…"

"I'm sorry, I—sit…" Emily sets the files on her bed and sits across from JJ. "Uh, JTF-12"

She tells her about Lauren Reynolds, about how much of her was (still is) Lauren Reynolds. How she'd proven herself to Doyle, gotten deep enough that she almost lost herself, almost lost Emily Prentiss over an op. How she fell in love with the boy, then the man. She couldn't confess to faking Declan's death, she couldn't get it out. She tells her everything she couldn't a year ago. JJ ends up standing before her sitting on the bed. She threads her fingers through her hair, holds her as she cries. "I'm sorry JJ, I didn't think I was coming back from it, I didn't know I'd end up—"

JJ stops her, "Em," she tilts her head up, making sure she's looking her in the eye, "You are Emily Prentiss, you are the same woman who came into the BAU with a passion and drive I never knew one person was capable of, you are the same woman who—who held my hand when I thought my best friend was going to die, who is so much to so many people, and nothing can change that. Nothing."

She says it with such conviction that Emily has to catch her breath. JJ drops her head forward, just meeting Emily's forehead as she brings a hand around to cup her jaw.

"You are Emily Prentiss, and I love you. Nothing can change that."

JJ tugs her up, feels the tears prick at her eyes as Emily's fingers weave into the hair at her nape. "Nothing," she whispers, reverent like a prayer, before Emily holds tighter.

"Nothing," she can't even hear it, just feels JJ's lips brush against hers, she's being tugged closer into the kiss. It's by no means chaste, but it's soft, solemn, and after a moment it's over. Neither of them move though, neither of them ready to break the fragile air.

For a minute they just breathe. JJ can feel Emily's lips on hers ever so slightly. She's whispering something, she thinks she knows what, but doesn't dare to ask. Emily pulls back, chews at her lip a moment, and sighs, "You should go, Henry must be missing him mum.", JJ swallows, "Yeah", and they untangle, fingertips ghosting against the other's as Emily shows her out, and with one small squeeze she's gone.

—

_Am I in danger?_

—

She'd kept the burner on her, shoved it in her back pocket as an after thought. When it rings she doesn't know what to do. She can't let it ring out, she knows.

There's only one person she gave the number to.

"Hey,"

"Hey, I didn't think you'd pick up,"

"Yeah, I—I'm dumping it; he knows where I am."

"We'll get him. I'll finish him myself if I have to."

She takes a shaky breath, tries to get it right.

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

—

She considers buying another phone, is a block away from a shady convenience store, but stops herself. To keep her family safe, she has to disappear, burn her bridges and leave nothing but ashes.


End file.
